I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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