He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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