Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
