nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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