like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
