pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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