Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
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He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
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If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
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