i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
