Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
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my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
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When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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