dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
