guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
