Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
