At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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