He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
The ass gains better be worth it
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