she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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