I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
