i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
