Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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