im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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