I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH