I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.