He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer