I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.