He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
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You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
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Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.