Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.