fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA