He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk