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Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
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