I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
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Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
Dude. She just shit herself.
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they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.