burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
North Korea, Best Korea!