You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.