all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
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Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
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Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.