Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face