Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.