My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.