No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition