private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Let's paint friendship bongs
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.