I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
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hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
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This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom