I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
If You LOL At These 18 Tweets, You’re Probably A Terrible Person
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
If You’re One of These 12 Restaurant Customers, Your Server is Definitely Spitting in Your Food
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Good Food, Cheap Beer, and Hot Singles: the Top 13 Cities for Millennials