they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.