He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.