You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Put some vodka in it
put some vodka in it
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Your cock deserves a montage
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.