Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.