I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend