omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
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How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
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I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.