Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (408)

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  You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now

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  (408): You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now http://tfl.nu/y80h
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  Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?

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  (408): Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol? http://tfl.nu/xach
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  I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.

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  (408): I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included. http://tfl.nu/7ela
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  there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing

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  (408): there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing http://tfl.nu/z6st
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  He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.

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  (408): He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend. http://tfl.nu/9uge
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  we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.

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  (408): we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good. http://tfl.nu/45si
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  A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.

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  (408): A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe. http://tfl.nu/7qkp
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  you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"

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  (408): you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later" http://tfl.nu/6byl
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  do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??

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  (408): do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend?? http://tfl.nu/xsua
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  i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.

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  (408): i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person. http://tfl.nu/pbus
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  I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on

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  (408): I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on http://tfl.nu/ydv9
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  im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.

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  (408): im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college. http://tfl.nu/q0uk
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  Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.

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  (408): Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you. http://tfl.nu/5sdb
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  hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner

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  if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends

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  (408): hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner (1-408): if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends http://tfl.nu/qgda
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  No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.

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  (408): No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles. http://tfl.nu/hp1m
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