Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (408)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...? http://tfl.nu/cucy
  Replies (15) Good night (6519) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless. http://tfl.nu/ejtk
  Replies (18) Good night (3087) Bad night (715) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding. http://tfl.nu/o5ps
  Replies (7) Good night (2666) Bad night (714) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it http://tfl.nu/gsrb
  Replies (5) Good night (3698) Bad night (701) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware. http://tfl.nu/gy46
  Replies (1) Good night (403) Bad night (695) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it. http://tfl.nu/jmvc
  Replies (6) Good night (1151) Bad night (686) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation. http://tfl.nu/jzil
  Replies (6) Good night (1297) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old. http://tfl.nu/3zai
  Replies (17) Good night (5726) Bad night (668) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady. http://tfl.nu/u3v1
  Replies (8) Good night (4048) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!

  (408): View more from California

  Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner! (408): Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland... http://tfl.nu/1sp2
  Replies (41) Good night (3270) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise http://tfl.nu/iazs
  Replies (11) Good night (5024) Bad night (657) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me http://tfl.nu/9m9d
  Replies (1) Good night (1506) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus. http://tfl.nu/kpmf
  Replies (26) Good night (8884) Bad night (634) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight http://tfl.nu/uzvu
  Replies (19) Good night (3946) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here. http://tfl.nu/d4g6
  Replies (17) Good night (2292) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt