Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure