I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.