Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (915)

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  Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck

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  (915): Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck http://tfl.nu/avfi
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  Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up

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  (915): Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up http://tfl.nu/dczq
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  everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.

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  (915): everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself. http://tfl.nu/tl80
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  and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.

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  (915): and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house. http://tfl.nu/ztys
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  You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs

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  (915): You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs http://tfl.nu/qhlh
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  Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.

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  (915): Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding. http://tfl.nu/j8kt
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  do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?

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  (915): do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club? http://tfl.nu/mens
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  Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?

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  (915): Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere? http://tfl.nu/8ktc
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  When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.

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  (915): When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free. http://tfl.nu/k11q
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  I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.

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  (915): I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner. http://tfl.nu/j2to
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  Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"

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  (915): Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches" http://tfl.nu/07la
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  like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on

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  (915): like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on http://tfl.nu/aizw
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  when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up

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  (915): when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up http://tfl.nu/inqg
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  I told you I was good to drive

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  dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

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  (915): I told you I was good to drive (1-915): dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate http://tfl.nu/7qaj
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  My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!

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  (915): My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!! http://tfl.nu/a7ta
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