before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!