I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize