Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm getting married