Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
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Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now