I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud