Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm getting married
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up