Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
