What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.