Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Houston, Texas (832)

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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.

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  (832): I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover. http://tfl.nu/1njk
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.

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  (832): I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella. http://tfl.nu/jiup
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.

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  (832): I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots" (832): On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep. http://tfl.nu/g6me
  Replies (16) Good night (2964) Bad night (547)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on

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  (832): You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on http://tfl.nu/zwxm
  Replies (4) Good night (2959) Bad night (548)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  super hot butfun

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.

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  (832): super hot butfun (832): Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make. http://tfl.nu/zsez
  Replies (11) Good night (2948) Bad night (515)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.

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  (832): Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face. http://tfl.nu/c54m
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk

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  (832): just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk http://tfl.nu/fd5v
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.

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  (808): So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend? (832): Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required. http://tfl.nu/6w8v
  Replies (10) Good night (2849) Bad night (612)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Breakfast tacos?

  (1-832): View more from Houston, Texas

  YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS

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  (832): Breakfast tacos? (1-832): YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS http://tfl.nu/haxw
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.

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  (832): Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room. http://tfl.nu/mk1e
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.

  (347): View more from New York

  Something to remember me by.

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  (832): I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet. (347): Something to remember me by. http://tfl.nu/ual5
  Replies (6) Good night (2491) Bad night (1797)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now

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  (832): I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now http://tfl.nu/6g0n
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.

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  (832): Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome. http://tfl.nu/loiz
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof

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  (832): The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof http://tfl.nu/eyc5
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.

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  (832): Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me. http://tfl.nu/x609
  Replies (5) Good night (2406) Bad night (698) Order T-Shirt