ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline