Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.